10 Best Crazy Religions I wouldn’t want anywhere near Ground Zero

While crazy is one of those relative, “in the eye of the beholder” terms, it can & does apply to mostly every religion out there, in some way, shape, or form…at one time or another…mostly.

I mean…Bhuddists seem to be on a pretty even keel…EXCEPT…well, they sure do bow a lot…

…sure it’s to their spiritually enlightened betters, but still…

Anyway, here are just a few religious places of worship I think would be better off left un-opened on any block…

…plus…all that money could go towards un-crazying the crazy.


1.     The, “You’re seriously in danger of being exploded if you say anything unlikeable about our God/religion &/or ma’ ladies wardrobe…&…as for the ladies, should you wear pants, talk back, be disagreeable, blow the top part of your burqa off while sneezing, make eye contact, laugh while eye contact is made, or say/think/be accused of committing adultery…your punishment will range from stoning/jailing/lashing/cutting off of face parts/acid throwing” religion.

2. The “We require women to shave off their heads & walk around in an itchy wig after marriage” religion.

3.     The “Our priests can’t get married &/or have sex w/ people their own age…but KIDS are okay!” religion.

4.     The “Huh, this is a good day for a female circumcision!” religion.

5.     The ” We’re okay w/ men marrying multiple women & our preference is sisters — twins, triplets, so on” religion.

6.     The “I left & came back w/ a gun & shot & killed a bunch of people because someone didn’t give me time to speak/voice my opinions (read act crazy)” religion.

7.     The “once upon a time, we thought women should jump on top of their husbands funeral pyres” religion.

8.     The “I’m going to declare myself a god, buy a yacht…buy a captain’s hat & wear it, and then anchor off shore w/ a boat full of underage Latino boys…&…you better not call us a cult or our lawyers will make you wish you’d been exploded” religion/cult.

9.     The “We like to shoot &/or blow up women’s clinics & doctors & staff & so on” religion.

10.     Any Sarah Palin “talking in tongues, glassy-eyed stare, make as little sense as possible, shoot wolves from a helicoptor, blurt out some bat-crap crazy comment every couple of sentences, & have really nice skin” religion.


side note***  #6 is the only one you might not know, but it’s my occasionally crazy religion & I thought it only fair.

Advertisements