10 Best Distractions Between New The Walking Dead Episodes

Time literally folds in on itself between new Walking Dead episodes…or out on itself…in, out – who cares!  Time does that thing where one week…7 days…24×7=hours (do the math)…takes like…like…way more than one week!  When time between episodes CREEPS – here’s what you can do:

1.  Debating

It’s time-consuming.  It’s engrossing.  Pick a topic.  Form an opinion.  Then create powerful, debate worthy Pro/Con-Walking Dead arguments.  Do zombie toe nails grow?  Pick a side!

2.  Cursing

Curse blue streaks at Walking Dead writers for not making the episodes longer or for making more of them or not creating a non-stop Walking Dead channel that aires new shows every night for the next 3 years forcing said writers to forego personal or social lives.  For 3 years or until I fall in love, get married, and have kids.  Make that 2 years.

3.  Writing

Write your own new episodes.  How bad can they be?  What’s that saying about a million monkeys w/ typewriters in a room & something something Shakespeare?  You’re way better than any typewriting monkey…you probably have a Mac.

4.  Yelling @ Andrea

ANDREA!!!  WHAT the hell are you DOING???  The governor is a capital D-bag!

  • Faaaact:  Governor D-bag pitts Daryl & Merle in a duel to the death (flip side: there’s a 50/50 chance in that scenario that Merl gets dead so…yea!)…& you totally witnessed this.  It’s not like Michonne – the best friend that saved your life – told you second hand & because you’re in love with Gov. D-bag (R) Newbury you choose not to believe her.
  • Faaaact:  You’ve seen his room of Head-Only horrors.
  • Faaaact:  Michonne can’t stand him.  And she’s awesome.

5.  Reading

Read the graphic novels.  Then…look for other zombie related books, shows, poetry, monologues, plays, etc.  Then…read Daisy Fay & The Miracle Man.  No zombies – just a really good story.

6.  Picking Favorites

While I love most of the characters – Rick, Daryl, Maggie, Glenn, Carl, Hershel, Lil’ Asskicker,  my hands down new favorite character is:  Michonne!  Holy crap she’s awesome.  She’s like some awesome combination of Kill Bill & Buffy TVS.  Awesome!

7.  Training

Seriously consider learning how to slice & dice with a katana…by seriously I mean think about how to google that.

8.  Weight-Loss

While everything about a zombie apocalypse is really bad, do you ever wonder how much weight I…you…could lose during such an epidemic…(I’m betting a lot!)…then think about all the clothes I…you…could wear and all the malls I could get those clothes from and…this is easily my favorite distraction

9.  Believing

People say zombies don’t exist, but the minute we stop believing, that’s when the zombies win.

10.  Dance Lessons

Learn the Zydeco-two step.  This has nothing to do with the Walking Dead I just really like the music…wait a minute!  Everything has something to do with zombies.  Now that I think of it…what if…just what if…it turns out to be a natural weapon against The Walking Dead!  Wait, thats from “Mars Attacks!”.     Except I think that was Hank Williams & Country/Blue Grass, not Zydeco.

10 Best Animal Planet Shows That’ll Make You Very Afraid…of Animals.

It used to be you’d tune into Animal Planet and you’d get a show that made you learn and subsequently, love animals.

Not anymore.  Seems to be a new sheriff in town…with a crazy, new mission statement no less:

Be Afraid…Be VERY Afraid. 

Here are 10 real Animal Planet programs available for your viewing pleasure…

…or terror:


#1     River Monsters

The dvd cover contains the picture of a mutant-monster fish w/ zombie-FANGS.


#2     I’m Alive!

An animal attacked you, you lived, and you’ve been eating out on that story ever since.


#3     I Shouldn’t Be Alive

Not the same as #2…it’s a completely different show about animals and people getting too close.


#4     Monsters Inside Me

Sounds like a fun 1/2 hour.


#5     Fatal Attractions

I don’t even know.


#6     Blood Dolphins

Do dolphin’s have a time of the month?


#7     Pitbulls & Parolees

I bet there’s a Michael Vick segment.


#8     The Haunted

If you’re such a bad pet owner that your dead pet decides to come back & haunt you instead of a sausage factory…well, you probably have it coming.


#9     Killer Aliens

Killer aliens???


#10     Untamed & Uncut

Live footage of scary animals being animals…also stuff that didn’t make it onto #2 or #3.

Honorable Mention:

1.     Hillbilly Hand Fishin’

If that means what I think it means…forget it — I’m afraid…very afraid.