10 Best Distractions Between New The Walking Dead Episodes

Time literally folds in on itself between new Walking Dead episodes…or out on itself…in, out – who cares!  Time does that thing where one week…7 days…24×7=hours (do the math)…takes like…like…way more than one week!  When time between episodes CREEPS – here’s what you can do:

1.  Debating

It’s time-consuming.  It’s engrossing.  Pick a topic.  Form an opinion.  Then create powerful, debate worthy Pro/Con-Walking Dead arguments.  Do zombie toe nails grow?  Pick a side!

2.  Cursing

Curse blue streaks at Walking Dead writers for not making the episodes longer or for making more of them or not creating a non-stop Walking Dead channel that aires new shows every night for the next 3 years forcing said writers to forego personal or social lives.  For 3 years or until I fall in love, get married, and have kids.  Make that 2 years.

3.  Writing

Write your own new episodes.  How bad can they be?  What’s that saying about a million monkeys w/ typewriters in a room & something something Shakespeare?  You’re way better than any typewriting monkey…you probably have a Mac.

4.  Yelling @ Andrea

ANDREA!!!  WHAT the hell are you DOING???  The governor is a capital D-bag!

  • Faaaact:  Governor D-bag pitts Daryl & Merle in a duel to the death (flip side: there’s a 50/50 chance in that scenario that Merl gets dead so…yea!)…& you totally witnessed this.  It’s not like Michonne – the best friend that saved your life – told you second hand & because you’re in love with Gov. D-bag (R) Newbury you choose not to believe her.
  • Faaaact:  You’ve seen his room of Head-Only horrors.
  • Faaaact:  Michonne can’t stand him.  And she’s awesome.

5.  Reading

Read the graphic novels.  Then…look for other zombie related books, shows, poetry, monologues, plays, etc.  Then…read Daisy Fay & The Miracle Man.  No zombies – just a really good story.

6.  Picking Favorites

While I love most of the characters – Rick, Daryl, Maggie, Glenn, Carl, Hershel, Lil’ Asskicker,  my hands down new favorite character is:  Michonne!  Holy crap she’s awesome.  She’s like some awesome combination of Kill Bill & Buffy TVS.  Awesome!

7.  Training

Seriously consider learning how to slice & dice with a katana…by seriously I mean think about how to google that.

8.  Weight-Loss

While everything about a zombie apocalypse is really bad, do you ever wonder how much weight I…you…could lose during such an epidemic…(I’m betting a lot!)…then think about all the clothes I…you…could wear and all the malls I could get those clothes from and…this is easily my favorite distraction

9.  Believing

People say zombies don’t exist, but the minute we stop believing, that’s when the zombies win.

10.  Dance Lessons

Learn the Zydeco-two step.  This has nothing to do with the Walking Dead I just really like the music…wait a minute!  Everything has something to do with zombies.  Now that I think of it…what if…just what if…it turns out to be a natural weapon against The Walking Dead!  Wait, thats from “Mars Attacks!”.     Except I think that was Hank Williams & Country/Blue Grass, not Zydeco.


The 10 Best X-Files Episodes…Ever:

I know!  It’s off the air!  However, I never saw the “Exit David Duchoveny, Enter Robert Patrick” seasons.  Until now.  &…

the truth is out there

and it’s on Netflix…all 9 seasons.

here are the 10 best…best as in funniest, creepiest, coolest……episodes EVER…

Thanks to the following:

CHRIS Carter.   DARIN Morgan.   VINCE Gilligan.   HOWARD Gordon.   KIM Manners.   JAMES Wong.   GLEN Morgan

1.     Every Episode w/ Robert Patrick (S8, S9)

I’ve never been MORE wrong about a “switch-0ut”.  This guy rocked the last 2 seasons of the X-files.

His chemistry with Scully was so off the charts great…let’s just say it’s a shame she was pregnant with Mulder’s half alien baby at the time.

2.     War of the Coprophages (S3, E12)

Scully gets jealous over a lady bug doctor (entamologist) named Bambi — enough said.

3.     Humbug (S2, E20)

Mulder & Scully and a circus sideshow.  Watch it.

4.     Clyde Bruckman’s Final Repose (S3, E4)

Peter Boyle is the man.  So is the writer of this episode…Darin Morgan.

5.     Quagmire (S3, E22)

A tiny dog gets eaten by a giant-mutant alligator.  Not the usual hard-core X-Files “Aliens taking over the planet/stole my baby/cloning humans to create a race of super soldiers/colonizing us,” episodes.

6.     Home (S4, E2)

easily one of the sickest, creepiest, freakiest, disturbing-est, perturbing-est, scariest, most discomforting, unseemly, at times…unwatchable, “can’t believe I’m seeing this on television” episodes ever — IT WAS THE BEST!

7.     Unruhe (S4, E4)

it’s Silence of the Lambs/Dr. Lechter scary without any lambs, chianti, slurping, or fava beans — this has a scary guy with crazy eyes and a lobotomizing nose pick.

8.     Never Again (S4, E13)

1st and last time you see that Scully has a wild, one-nighter, tatts/bikers side — that & she doesn’t have a desk in that basement office…not cool!

9.     Small Potatoes (S4, E20)

the funniest x-files ever – you get to see pretend-Mulder put the moves on Scully and she’s so pleasantly wined up, she doesn’t say no.

10.      Bad Blood (S5, E12)

love this episode due to the vampires, the accents, the sherif (Luke Wilson…so good as Lucious Harwell there should’ve been a spin-off), the separate Scully/Mulder versions, and the start to finish HIGH-lariousness.

You also find out Mulder’s a totally abysmal tipper/cheap bastard…NOT attractive.

Honorable Mention:

11.     Triangle (S6, E3)

Mulder plants one on Scully (kisses her) and she goes Sista’ Soldja on him (punches him).

12.     Dreamland I & II (S6, E4-5)

Funny I & Funny II thanks in large part to Spinal Tap guy…Michael McKeean

13.     How the Ghosts Stole Christmas (S6, E6)

Lily Tomlin.  Ed Asner.  They play a couple of horrid, bitter, goulish, ghosts.  They’re great.

14.     Arcadia (S6, E15)

Finally…an X-files where Mulder & Scully have to pretend to be a couple.

15.     Milagro (S6, E18)

A writer, madly in-love w/ Scully, yet pretty demented…oh…& he has the power to make real what he writes.  Plus, a jealous Mulder.

16.     Sein und Zeit Pt. 1 (S7, E10), Closure Pt. 2 (S7, E11)

You’re gonna’ cry.  Think NYPD Blue.  The episode where Jimmy Smits’ character dies…And Buffy The Vampire Slayer.  The episode where her mom dies.  And Mash.  The episode where the helicoptor explodes & the people inside…well, die.