10 Best Distractions Between New The Walking Dead Episodes

Time literally folds in on itself between new Walking Dead episodes…or out on itself…in, out – who cares!  Time does that thing where one week…7 days…24×7=hours (do the math)…takes like…like…way more than one week!  When time between episodes CREEPS – here’s what you can do:

1.  Debating

It’s time-consuming.  It’s engrossing.  Pick a topic.  Form an opinion.  Then create powerful, debate worthy Pro/Con-Walking Dead arguments.  Do zombie toe nails grow?  Pick a side!

2.  Cursing

Curse blue streaks at Walking Dead writers for not making the episodes longer or for making more of them or not creating a non-stop Walking Dead channel that aires new shows every night for the next 3 years forcing said writers to forego personal or social lives.  For 3 years or until I fall in love, get married, and have kids.  Make that 2 years.

3.  Writing

Write your own new episodes.  How bad can they be?  What’s that saying about a million monkeys w/ typewriters in a room & something something Shakespeare?  You’re way better than any typewriting monkey…you probably have a Mac.

4.  Yelling @ Andrea

ANDREA!!!  WHAT the hell are you DOING???  The governor is a capital D-bag!

  • Faaaact:  Governor D-bag pitts Daryl & Merle in a duel to the death (flip side: there’s a 50/50 chance in that scenario that Merl gets dead so…yea!)…& you totally witnessed this.  It’s not like Michonne – the best friend that saved your life – told you second hand & because you’re in love with Gov. D-bag (R) Newbury you choose not to believe her.
  • Faaaact:  You’ve seen his room of Head-Only horrors.
  • Faaaact:  Michonne can’t stand him.  And she’s awesome.

5.  Reading

Read the graphic novels.  Then…look for other zombie related books, shows, poetry, monologues, plays, etc.  Then…read Daisy Fay & The Miracle Man.  No zombies – just a really good story.

6.  Picking Favorites

While I love most of the characters – Rick, Daryl, Maggie, Glenn, Carl, Hershel, Lil’ Asskicker,  my hands down new favorite character is:  Michonne!  Holy crap she’s awesome.  She’s like some awesome combination of Kill Bill & Buffy TVS.  Awesome!

7.  Training

Seriously consider learning how to slice & dice with a katana…by seriously I mean think about how to google that.

8.  Weight-Loss

While everything about a zombie apocalypse is really bad, do you ever wonder how much weight I…you…could lose during such an epidemic…(I’m betting a lot!)…then think about all the clothes I…you…could wear and all the malls I could get those clothes from and…this is easily my favorite distraction

9.  Believing

People say zombies don’t exist, but the minute we stop believing, that’s when the zombies win.

10.  Dance Lessons

Learn the Zydeco-two step.  This has nothing to do with the Walking Dead I just really like the music…wait a minute!  Everything has something to do with zombies.  Now that I think of it…what if…just what if…it turns out to be a natural weapon against The Walking Dead!  Wait, thats from “Mars Attacks!”.     Except I think that was Hank Williams & Country/Blue Grass, not Zydeco.

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10 Best Ways to Distract Yourself on BART w/out a…

cell phone

i-thing

game-thing

etc!


That’s right.  I found myself on BART w/out any of the above.

Making matters infinitely, off-the-charts worse is that I also forgot my book!  I was half way through Howl’s Moving Castle (soooo good!…& no, I’m not a young adult…but I am reading The Hunger Games next).

My journey (East Bay to SF/SF to East Bay) could have been the longest, most soul-sucking hours of my life.  Could have.  If not for my trusty pen & notebook.


This is what to do in that situation 10 Best list:


1.     Pen/cil.  Paper.  Stick figures. What can’t you make them do?

2.     Breathe (fresh breath only), then draw on window.  Voila…Condensation Art.

3.     Unintentionally make eye contact w/ the same person about 11 times until you both think the other is a psycho.

4.     Discover a passenger reading The World According to Garp and see if you can tell by looking at their face if they’ve just gotten to a tragic part.

5.     When not in tunnel mode, look @ all the houses & wonder when and if you’ll ever be able to afford one.  Then send out a special curse to the golden parachute crowd @ Goldman Sachs, AIG, & cohorts in which they are left w/ nothing more than a studio apt. & maybe a bus pass…okay, forget the bus pass.  Those thugs can walk!

6.     Devise additional, semi-inappropriate punishment scenarios for Goldman Sachs, et a.  Careful, there is a downside.  Not only can it take up all your travel time, but you might also miss your stop.

7.      Consider televising #6.

8.     Comment/Review on footwear of other passengers – see if you can find a guy in tasseled, Italian loafers w/ no socks and laugh at him.

9.     Roll your eyes @ the passenger currently using all the items you don’t have simultaneously and seriously question whether she’s a fulfilled individual or not…then when you notice the really cool game she’s playing on her game thing…realize she probably isn’t UNLESS she gives you a turn.

10.   Write a story. It won’t kill you.