10 Best Comics Ever

(in the order they came into my head)

1.     Dana Gould

2.     Brian Reagan

3.     Janeane Garofalo

4.     Dave Chappelle

5.     Chris Rock

6.     Wanda Sykes

7.     George Lopez

8.     Ellen DeGeneres

9.     Franklin Ajaye

10.   Aziz Ansari

I would, if I could, give an Honorable Mention to this one guy who did this bit about, “… how his father had changed religions and had gone from being a Christian to a militant Muslim who saw conspiracies everywhere like at X-mas when the beloved fat white man came around and gave all the good kids toys & in the supermarket when his father noticed the green olives were kept in a glass jar while the black olives were in a can…”

…but I won’t, because I can’t…

…because I don’t remember his name.  I can see his face, hear his voice (both extremely funny), but not his name!

…that guy is a comic genius.  That bit is pure gold and despite having ruined it above in my less than stellar re-telling, I’m laughing my ass off just remembering his delivery.

If anyone recognizes the bit above and knows his name…seriously…let me know!


The 10 Best X-Files Episodes…Ever:

I know!  It’s off the air!  However, I never saw the “Exit David Duchoveny, Enter Robert Patrick” seasons.  Until now.  &…

the truth is out there

and it’s on Netflix…all 9 seasons.

here are the 10 best…best as in funniest, creepiest, coolest……episodes EVER…

Thanks to the following:

CHRIS Carter.   DARIN Morgan.   VINCE Gilligan.   HOWARD Gordon.   KIM Manners.   JAMES Wong.   GLEN Morgan

1.     Every Episode w/ Robert Patrick (S8, S9)

I’ve never been MORE wrong about a “switch-0ut”.  This guy rocked the last 2 seasons of the X-files.

His chemistry with Scully was so off the charts great…let’s just say it’s a shame she was pregnant with Mulder’s half alien baby at the time.

2.     War of the Coprophages (S3, E12)

Scully gets jealous over a lady bug doctor (entamologist) named Bambi — enough said.

3.     Humbug (S2, E20)

Mulder & Scully and a circus sideshow.  Watch it.

4.     Clyde Bruckman’s Final Repose (S3, E4)

Peter Boyle is the man.  So is the writer of this episode…Darin Morgan.

5.     Quagmire (S3, E22)

A tiny dog gets eaten by a giant-mutant alligator.  Not the usual hard-core X-Files “Aliens taking over the planet/stole my baby/cloning humans to create a race of super soldiers/colonizing us,” episodes.

6.     Home (S4, E2)

easily one of the sickest, creepiest, freakiest, disturbing-est, perturbing-est, scariest, most discomforting, unseemly, at times…unwatchable, “can’t believe I’m seeing this on television” episodes ever — IT WAS THE BEST!

7.     Unruhe (S4, E4)

it’s Silence of the Lambs/Dr. Lechter scary without any lambs, chianti, slurping, or fava beans — this has a scary guy with crazy eyes and a lobotomizing nose pick.

8.     Never Again (S4, E13)

1st and last time you see that Scully has a wild, one-nighter, tatts/bikers side — that & she doesn’t have a desk in that basement office…not cool!

9.     Small Potatoes (S4, E20)

the funniest x-files ever – you get to see pretend-Mulder put the moves on Scully and she’s so pleasantly wined up, she doesn’t say no.

10.      Bad Blood (S5, E12)

love this episode due to the vampires, the accents, the sherif (Luke Wilson…so good as Lucious Harwell there should’ve been a spin-off), the separate Scully/Mulder versions, and the start to finish HIGH-lariousness.

You also find out Mulder’s a totally abysmal tipper/cheap bastard…NOT attractive.

Honorable Mention:

11.     Triangle (S6, E3)

Mulder plants one on Scully (kisses her) and she goes Sista’ Soldja on him (punches him).

12.     Dreamland I & II (S6, E4-5)

Funny I & Funny II thanks in large part to Spinal Tap guy…Michael McKeean

13.     How the Ghosts Stole Christmas (S6, E6)

Lily Tomlin.  Ed Asner.  They play a couple of horrid, bitter, goulish, ghosts.  They’re great.

14.     Arcadia (S6, E15)

Finally…an X-files where Mulder & Scully have to pretend to be a couple.

15.     Milagro (S6, E18)

A writer, madly in-love w/ Scully, yet pretty demented…oh…& he has the power to make real what he writes.  Plus, a jealous Mulder.

16.     Sein und Zeit Pt. 1 (S7, E10), Closure Pt. 2 (S7, E11)

You’re gonna’ cry.  Think NYPD Blue.  The episode where Jimmy Smits’ character dies…And Buffy The Vampire Slayer.  The episode where her mom dies.  And Mash.  The episode where the helicoptor explodes & the people inside…well, die.