10 Best Techniques to AVOID Eye Contact on BART!

You don’t want it to happen.  Nobody does.




Stranger eye contact.  A complete stranger’s gaze sliding into yours.

You’re on BART…or some other place inhabited by lots of humans…and your eyes can’t seem to stop themselves from roving.

Next thing you know, “Houston, we have contact.”  A complete stranger slides right into your eye line.  They look at you.  You look at them.  You look to your left, then to your right.

What to do…what to do?  Read on, my fellow social mal-adjusts:

1.     Reading — best way ever to avoid making eye contact & yet another reason to be literate.

2.     Writing — a better way to go for the “I like to sound out the voices & accents in books” crowd.

3.     Arithmatic — eventually your eyes glaze over by themselves…easy-breezy-beautiful…math.

4.     Sunglasses — only if you’re cool enough.

5.     Goiter — trust me…no one’s making eye contact.  Unless they also have one…in which case, maybe romance or a friendship ensues.

6.     Talking…make that arguing…with yourself — loudly or matter-of-factly, your choice.

7.     Stinking — have a strong, negative odor waft from your person.

8.     Being cross-eyed — kind of hard to know which way to make eye contact.

9.     Solicitation — asking for stuff (money, a ride home, someone’s “shiny-shiny” shoes) produces the desired results!

10.   Knock-Knock jokes — to be used in case of emergency only…a midnight ride from SFO to Pittsburg, for instance.