10 Best Reasons Meg Whitman Might be a Douche Bag:


1.    Because she really seems to like Goldman Sachs…& they really like money, no matter how they get it…if there are any babies, kittens/puppies/foals, or butterflies out there worth a billion in bonds…hide them…hurry!  Goldman’s coming…& they’re hungry!

2.    Because Meg & Goldman Sachs seem to have a tit for tat relationship…only it’s not tit or tat, it’s trading access to super hot IPO’s in exchange for managing bonds worth billions…& should Meg become CA’s governor, Goldman can get it’s grubby, bond-grubbing hands that much closer to more of ours.

3.    Because Meg wants us to refer to her as the CEO of California…what ever, Fancy Pants.  I’m sure we’re all thinking how much this world needs more CEO’s w/ their outsource-layoff-slash benefits-increase executive salaries-destroy unions-ruin the company & get out of Dodge formulas.  Yeah, that’s what we’re thinking.

4.     Because of ALL those ads we’re never going to stop seeing…Meg has so much money…How much does she have?…she has so much money…”  Well, let’s leave it at this; you’ve seen her ads.  I’ve seen her ads.  It’s feeling like a repeat of those PG&E “Yes on Prop 16” ads everyone voted NO on. Badump-pum!  Her opponent, in the meantime, got a great deal on organic okra @ a local farmer’s market (unconfirmed).

5.     Because Meg has decided California…maybe the whole country…is in the mess we’re in because of unions and…& one other thing, oh yes, welfare.  Meg HATES welfare. The “poor people” kind.  NOT the “corporate” kind.  Heavens no.  I have a feeling she’ll grow that kind just as fast as she can.  And she’ll call it “tax cuts”.

6.     Because her corporation owning supporters would probably love it if she would let them offer their employees the WalMart Standard Health Benefit Package…in which you heal yourself using a glitter wand & a sacred turnip (aisle 12).

7.     Because I don’t know for sure if Meg was cozy with the Goldman Gang before or after they hired all those math geniuses & top-of-their class physicists that created those impossible to understand formulas specifically created to:

– confuse the agencies in charge of stopping those shenanigans

– enable them to put more coin into the over-stuffed pockets of the “several homes abroad” crowd by looting, pillaging, & plundering w/out remorse, regret, or suffering a single, solitary repercussion…

– decimate…?  obliterate…?  annihilate…?  CREMATE our economy…& Greece’s

– make most of us lose our jobs & have to move back in w/ our parents…if you’re lucky…if you’re not…goodluck finding a sturdy piece of cardboard & an empty underpass

:hey, lets ask Meg, I’m sure she’ll tell us.

8.    Because despite all of #6, Meg’s decided to blame CA’s economic woes on the unions…(where workers are currently fighting for such luxuries as holding on to pensions & affordable health care…the kind you won’t go bankrupt over…in case you brake your ankle in a fight w/ a douche bag (see #10), for instance.  NOT her pals…the ones with all our money…giving us the finger while they bonus their asses out on…I’m digressing…

9. Because Meg named her son Griffith Rutherford Harsh V (yeah, because…yeah).

10.   Because her son reads like he’s one giant bag of douche & I’m pretty sure there’s an apropos saying out there about douche bags & trees. You be the judge:

– our boy was arrested on felony battery charges while matriculating @ Princeton (I know…who hasn’t).  Later, they were mysteriously dropped (possibly the most costly broken ankle in the history of ever)…

– it took a $30 million American dollar donation to Princeton for Meg to get her idiot child into the ivy leagues…& he probably graduated…in some percentile of his class…

– after all that, the only place the Golden Child could get a job was within a family business…I’m sure he makes himself useful…coffee does NOT make itself…

:& despite Meg’s generous endowment to Princeton, I doubt she’ll start a similar (if not as ample) scholarship program for California’s college bound kids.


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